Popcorn Reviews With Cybèle: Armageddon

By Cybèle Elaine Werts  
CybeleW@aol.com

First  published in the Shelburne News, Shelburne Vermont

Popcorn Kernel Rating: 3 kernels - Boom boom shakaboom, lots-o-action and testosterone.

Armageddon has been really ripped by cranky movie critics because of it’s inability to make much sense scientifically speaking. But who cares really? After two made-for-TV, and another made-for-movie-theatre asteroid about to hit earth movies, what possible new plot could there be?

That being said, I admit with a shy blush that I had a great time watching Armageddon. Sure the special effects were kinda cool. But what kept me riveted to the screen (aside from the air conditioning) was the wave of testosterone flowing from hunky Ben Affleck (wotta build!) and Bruce Willis whose charisma and manliness far outstrip any looks that God gave him. So, I’m a sucker for manly men and these two made it for me. If there was one thing that irritated me (you know what’s coming), it’s that at pinch time all the tough boys drew straws for the suicide mission, but the one woman pilot who’d fiercely battled their imminent sexism thus far was accidentally-on-purpose not included. So she’s tough enough to face being blasted by a bunch of horny boys, and smart enough to go out in space to fight the big bad asteroid, but still not manly enough to be included when push comes to shove. Not to mention Liv Tyler, while cute as heck, still had no more role than a pretty lollipop collecting dust while the men are away.

Suggested Gustatorial Accompaniment: Tacky I know, but Nestle is selling these little Armageddon "asteroid" chocolate crispy crunch balls. Movie merchandising rules!

Copyright 2000