**This was written for Toastmasters

Good evening fellow toastmasters and honored guests.

I'd like to start this evening by telling you a little story about a scientist that no one ever heard of. He worked at 3M, a company that makes stuff like scotch tape and staples, nothing too exciting. This scientist was working on making a new glue, maybe something like Elmers, or something like the super glue that caused all the problems with the guy and the rhino that we heard about at the last meeting. [pause] After all this work, he makes a glue, but discovers that… it didn't work! The things he glued together, fell apart. [pull off and stick up Post-It note] That would have been the end of it because that glue was a failure really, except that this scientist did use it to stick up some little notes to himself, [riffle through post-its like an accordian] notes that he knew he'd want to remove later without tearing the paper. [pull off and stick up Post-It note] So, was born… Post-It notes, which today are stuck to every desk in America. All because of glue, that DIDN'T glue.

I like this story, because a few years ago my career was sticking about as well as that Post-It glue. You see, I am a graphic designer, among other things. I'm a good graphic designer, but maybe, not a great one. Besides, no one looks at a brochure or a menu or a flyer [hold up Toastmasters materials] and says "Wow! Your brochure really moved me!" I wanted to change things, to make a difference. So I'm working at this job designing newsletters, and it turns out that my boss expects me to WRITE the articles too! Do I know anything about writing? No, of course not. But hey, I'm being paid, so I write a little, and get a writing coach, and write a little more. My articles on the corporate world turn out to be not half-bad, and I start writing some movie reviews and spiritual stories that turn into columns in the local newspaper. Readers write me e-mails about how they put up my column on the fridgerater or sent it to their sister or how it changed how they felt that day. It seems… that I've found the one thing that I can do, that no one else can do just like me. My editing coach KK calls this "finding your voice." She's talking about writing in a way that expresses your true self, but I think it also works on a larger level.

The next step came when my friend Alison asked me to speak at an event she was organizing on size acceptance. What is size acceptance, you ask? Well, it's about being strong and healthy, and loving your body no matter what size you are; big, like me, or small, tall or short, couch potato or couch broccoli. You see, I had been kind of a size activist all along because I'm something of a colorful person, and no matter what I wear, people notice me. I figured that since that was a fact, I might as well make the best of it. For Alison's event, I read a short speech which I really don't remember now, because, of course [pause] I was pretty nervous! But what I do remember is that for days, weeks, people came up to me and told me that they felt better because I had said those words. I always knew I had a good voice, because people tell me I "give good phone!" [pause] So, I decided I wanted to use my voice and my writing skills, but I didn't know how or where. And, there was this other challenge which is that I am something of an overachiever, neck deep into a bunch of hobbies that ate up my time - writing articles, producing a monthly newsletter, singing in the choir, cooking, and so on and so forth. I was neck deep in wet sand at the beach, and there wasn't room for even one more grain of sand in my life. Public speaking got buried in the sand, deep.

But then, something really radical happened. I fell in love. And, like any fool in love, I moved to another state to be with him, here, in Massachusetts. In order to leave Vermont, I had to give notice to all those projects. It wasn't easy, but when I got here, I had a clean slate. Nothing but me, work, love, and…. Hmm, what shall I do with myself? Of course I went right back to Jazzercise, because what kind of size advocate would I be if I can't do 100 abdominal crunches? But then, what? Not two months here, and my public speaking fantasies wriggled their way out of the sand and demanded attention. The challenge is, that although I like public speaking, I don't know anything about it. Fortunately I'm a writer, so at least I won't be [pause] egregiously obtuse, or dull,… hopefully. But if the truth be known, I want to be a "pounding on the podium" kind of speaker [pound the podium]. I want to be Martin Luther King saying "I have a dream!" I want to stride across a stage and share what I know to be true.

Even though people think that speakers are born, I know that it's a learned skill, like baking gingerbread cookies or flying a kite. I suppose it helps if you like to show off a little bit, but the bottom line is that to do it well, I have to do it. That's why I'm here now, and why I guess you are too. I don't know where or how I will share my voice, this one [tough lips] or this one [pat heart], but I believe that if I prepare the way, spirit will take care of the rest. And of course [lift off Post-It notes from podium], I'll write myself a reminder so I won't forget.

Copyright January, 1999