Mindful Living: Making the Holidays More Than Just Another Potpourri Set

One more coffee mug, one more fruitcake, one more potpourri set, and I’m going to upchuck iced holiday cookies all over my keyboard.

I know, I know, it’s the thought that counts. But surely the spirit of this season can be found in something more authentic?

A friend of mine tells me that she used to think that children hug teddy bears because they want warmth and safety. In fact, she says, children hug teddies so that they can release the love inside them. It’s not “getting” love that makes us complete, it’s “giving” love that sets free the magic locked inside us. Love is the expression of the God spirit within.

Of course “getting” isn’t so bad either. The best gift I ever got was from my dad when I was about ten. Two matching plastic boxes that snapped shut with a satisfying click. One brimmed with nickels and the other with one of his old watches, revived with a purple suede watchband. I can’t even guess what creative force called him to fill a box with nickels, but the sheer peculiarity of it appeals to me even now. I had always wanted one of his watches, and he managed the only possible improvement with that watchband. The real gift he gave me was his attention. Attention to what I wanted, to who I really was. This is what we all need, someone to see our soul and respond in kind.

These are the two halves of gift giving. Giving the hug to a teddy, or to a friend. Receiving an old watch that is new with promise.

It is this promise that a local Methodist church sought when they encouraged their members to spend only $100 on the holiday. Instead of pricey gifts, they blessed each other with the gift of time. Crunching through the snow and leaving tracks all the way back to the house. The aroma of apple vinegary ginger cookies drifting across the neighborhood. Holding hands with someone who is afraid, and not being afraid yourself. Not in a rush; not checking your holiday to do list; not distracted by too many bills.

Could you do what they did? Could you separate yourself from all the stuff, and give the gift of love instead? How about just for a few minutes today? Could you buy a box of chocolate caramels and drop it in the food shelf box at the supermarket? Could you pay attention to a friend without thinking of what you want to say next? Could you drop off an extra winter coat at the shelter? Could you say “thank you” to the person who picked up the trash in your office?

I can do these things and I will. When I get to January I want more to show for these holidays than a kitchen cabinet overflowing with coffee mugs and a few extra pounds. I want to know that my presence here on earth, here in Burlington Vermont, made a difference for someone. I will do these things. Will you join me?

Copyright June, 1999

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